Sick week.

Well, last Friday I came down with a stupid cold and it is still going on, but luckily it is finally winding down. It was the stupid cough and plugged nose kind of cold so I didn't get into the practice room very much this week, but I did work on some listening and literature. But today in voice lessons I did get some singing done and the buzz came easier today than usual. I've really been trying to apply everything I learn when we're rehearsing in choir. That seems to be helping me quite a bit as well. When I am actually singing with a buzz the sound seems to flow easier than before. Ever since I started lessons this semester, singing just seems to be a lot of work! <--Not a complaint! But I just find myself concentrating on where my tongue is placed in my mouth or if my jaw is dropped, or how the air is flowing. I think I made a really good realization today in lessons when Dr.Hepworth told me to feel the air moving like down my nose. I could literally feel that and I could envision the air moving kind of if that makes any sense? Also, I learned a new way to manage my stress today by breathing in colors. Very much appreciated.

You're the best Dr.Hepworth :)

Buzz buzz.

This week I focused a lot on my Italian pieces. One of the big things I worked on were trilling my rs on pitch. I also hammered down a few rhythms I was having a few difficulties in Vergin Tutto Amor and Tu Lo Sai. I also got a new song this week which is just an English song called "To A Wild Rose". I like it a ton better than "If Music Be the Food of Love". I really don't know why I don't like that song, but it just annoys me for some reason. It's really awesome that Dr.Hepworth let me kick that one out of my repitoire because a lot of teachers would just make you suck it up and sing it anyways. I still really can't figure out the buzz thing. The thing that confuses me is I think I know when I have it, but then other times Dr.Hepworth will tell me that I'm doing well, but I can't feel a buzz at all. Is it supposed to be like really apparent or what? This buzz thing is driving me up the wall! And I know I'm supposed to find it by getting my tongue out of the way of my throat but I cannot freaking figure it out. I'm hoping someday it will just click and all my problems will magically vanish. April 20th is when I have to sing on recital and it is looming closer and closer. I think I am going to sing "Vergin Tutto Amore", but we shall see.

Tour week.

We had choir tour this week and I was really surprised at how well my voice handled it. Usually, my voice would be shot after two performances, but we did five total throughout the two days and I'm really tired, but it's not even from singing, it's just from lack of sleep. That's a really good feeling for me because I can finally tell that my voice is getting much stronger. Practice has been going well, I've just been going over my songs, and I think I'm starting to get a pretty good feel for them. One thing I think I need help with is warm ups. I guess my question is if there is like a certain order I should do vocalises in or how many I should do or maybe even learn some new ones. I'm still trying to find the "buzz" also. I just don't think I know what I'm looking for. I've tried experimenting, but I just cannot figure that out. Since midterms are over I have a feeling time is going to just start flying. It's going to be my time to sing in recital before I know it. I am still terrified, but we will cross that bridge once we get to it!

Breakthrough!!

Finally, a blog that won't be full of complaints! I had a really good week yay! Ever since I got switched to soprano two in choir, everything just seems a lot easier. Today in my lesson we made it through all of my songs, well kind of since I really don't like "If Music Be the Food of Love"...But today was the first time we really actually worked on singing through my repertoire and it felt really really good to feel like I was actually accomplishing something. My next order of business that I need to tackle is figuring out how to find the buzz. I'm really starting to catch on to the whole dropping the jaw thing I think, but I just can't figure out what exactly it is I need to do for the buzz. I suppose it will just involve a lot of practicing and a lot of experimenting. Nothing I can't handle though. I'm starting to get sick with a scratchy sore throat and a head cold sort of thing, but it's in it's infancy yet so I'm hoping that I can kick it to the curb before it will really start affecting me. Tonight is my first choir concert as a soprano so I'm pretty excited for that! Things are finally starting to click and it is super awesome. Let's just hope it stays that way!

Frustration station.

So, this week sucks. Well, I take that back. Today sucked. At the end of last week Dr.Lofgren moved me to soprano 2 in choir so that I can actually get some practice singing the way I'm supposed to. The beginning of the week went really well. I could already tell that was helping me, and it was a lot easier to experiment with my voice when I already know the songs we're singing. So, in choir I was feeling really confident. When I went into the practice room by myself it was a bit more difficult, but I still felt like I was making progress. Until today. I don't know if I was just really tired or what, but in choir I just could not sing. I don't know if I forgot what I've been doing or what, but I was just having troubles getting my voice to stay constant. It kept cutting out, and even though I was drinking water the whole time my throat just felt so dry. It didn't really hurt, it just felt weird.I figured I was just tired, but when I went to the practice room later I was still having troubles. I warmed up and started singing my songs on an e vowel, and the sound was coming out quite a bit better, but it just felt different. I wasn't doing something right. I have no idea what though, and it's really really frustrating. I hate not knowing what I'm doing. And another thing that is driving me nuts is the way I sound. I used to have  an actually quite pretty voice, and now it just sounds awful. I feel like my sound is so like heavy..I don't know if that's the right way to describe it??? But, I just want to sound nice and floaty and beautiful, and all I feel like I'm doing is getting a stomach full of breath and belting out some sound that is supposed to be singing. I don't know if it's just because I'm trying to find this new voice that I never knew I had, or if somehow I just ruined my voice and it will never sound the same, but it's really frustrating. I feel like I have so many obstacles in my way. I'm not going to give up...definitley not my style, but I want to gain some sense of confidence and I am just having the hardest time doing that. Boo. I need so many chai tea lattes and a bubble bath right now. I feel like that would solve a lot of my problems.

Holy Beautiful Day.

First off, I'm way off on my weeks so I'm just not going to title these by week anymore. Second off, it is like the nicest day in February EVER, and I wish it was like this every single day. Third, I just got done with my lesson, and as usual, I feel a million times better leaving it than entering. This week I actually felt pretty alright because I was kind of getting into the groove of practicing. One thing that I never told Dr.Hepworth during my lesson because I just kind of thought of it right now, but the one thing that holds me back when it comes to practicing is I get really self conscious. I do a lot of things in my dorm room, but I need to get into a practice room more often. I just don't want people to hear me.....yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's really dumb, but something that bothers me. My other problem this week, that is no secret, is that I just get so freaking frustrated. I just want to be good.  I totally understand that you have to practice to get better, but I'm just not used to it. I'm not giving up hope at all, once I set my mind to something I WILL do it. I just hate feeling so far away from my goals. Everyone keeps telling me just to sweat this semester out, and once I get into the swing of things it's going to just feel awesome. I just worry. Ha, what's new though? Okay. Positive attitude from here on out...no promises on that one, but it's a good thought. So my practice regimen for this week is to sing my songs on an "e" and work on some tongue excersises by saying today, kitty, and I forgot the last one so I will need to ask Dr.Hepworth about that. OH, and I'm not going to get all flustered this week either. Good luck to me!

Week Three.

Well, this week was pretty frustrating because I was sick basically the entire week with a sore throat and stuffy nose. Today's Thursday and I'm finally starting to feel better, but I just have the left over scratchy, annoying throat. I've been stocking up on water and orange juice though, so hopefully that helps! For practicing this week I really just played through my songs to try and get the tune in my head, and worked on the languages. I got another song added today in my lesson, and it's another Italian called Vergin, tutto amor, so that will be a challenge. That's fine though because I really like pushing myself, and pretending like I know how to speak Italian is pretty fun :) I definetely know that I'm going to start taking really super good care of myself from here on out because it's really frustrating not being able to work on my songs like I want to. I'll just keep focusing on my languages though, I imagine that mastering that is just as hard as getting the music down. So, here's to getting healthy for next week!!!!!!!!!!!