I have lost so many pencils this semester.

Hello world! Here I am to talk about my endeavors throughout the week. Well first and foremost diphthongs are driving me crazy. I also just realized like today that it's diPHthongs. I always thought it was dipthongs. Guess I'm a dip haaa. Well anyways, I am just having the toughest time hearing them. As soon as anything is said about them I can tell that I'm doing it, but when I'm by myself they seem to never even phase me. Maybe I need to do a little more speak singing. I know which words are my problem spots, but I just don't know. Drive me crazy. And then when it comes to diphthongs in la conocchia that is just like a whole other level of frustration because I'm not exactly positive what I need to look for when it comes to diphthongs in that language. I think I've sang that song too many times and I'm getting a little tired of it. But I'm still really excited for our studio recital!! I just hope I still fit into the dress I want to wear eeek. High school was so long ago!  I am really really loving vanilla ice cream, but I just get so discouraged almost at the beginning. I just sound so bad I think. And I'm not being hard on myself! That's like the weakest part of my voice so it can't ever decide what it wants to do and I'm so worried about cracking or something like that. It's going to be so fun once we get it polished up though. I really need to hit that one hard by myself. Other than that stuff I think my rep is going pretty well! So hooray for that. Oh and I was totally freaking out today about recital since I didn't have a banana but guess what I didn't even freak out when I got on stage!! I was actually like totally loving it. Funny what just a tid of confidence does..

this is a boring blog.

So in my lesson this week we went over my rep focusing on la conocchia, into the night, and vanilla ice cream. Vanilla Ice Cream is so hard! I had no idea it was going to be so hard when we started it! I think adding a character voice is going to make it a little bit easier, but the dipthongs are absolutely kicking my butt! I just never realize it when I'm singing it, but as soon as someone says something then it just seems so obvious. I think I'm going to start recording myself when I practice and then I'll be able to hear them. La conoccchia is going pretty well I just need to start breathing in the space. I think I have pretty much everything memorized so that is good. I'm getting pretty nervous for 300 level juries. I'm not worried about the singing at all, but it's the memorizing stuff about the composers and stuff that is going to kill me. I also am focusing on getting a more forward sound. I seem to forget about that a lot. I really don't have anything too exciting to talk about in this blog. So whooooooo!

Rejuvenated.

Well we had our first lesson after spring break yesterday and it went quite well. We went over Into the Night and that went pretty swell. I need to work on dipthongs and modifying so that shouldn't be too much to tweak. In Chanson d'amour I learned that I need a lot more puckering which I think might make singing it a bit more difficult because I don't want to create unwanted tension from doing the puckering so that will be a challenge. And then we changed the end of Vanilla Ice Cream (THANK GOD!) from the b to a turn so that is going to be a thousand times less scary. I mean I've never actually tried the b, but I just have a very bad feeling about it, and I really don't want to like kill my self attempting it, sooo we'll just keep it like we got it now. So every time I've been in the practice room I've done the duckas kitties and todays, but I just feel like I am not getting any better at it and it is making me mad. I sang in studio today and I think it was the best job I've done in quite a while. I went  up there with a good attitude and told myself that I was going to do great and I think that really made a lot of difference. I'm starting to get a tid nervous for the big scary barrier juries coming up, but so  far I feel real confident with my rep so I'm not going to stress too much over it right now. This may be my last blog ever because I have a diction AND aural skills test tomorrow so it might kill me. So if that is the case, then adios, but who knows, maybe I'll make it out alive.

Spring break is SO close.

Today was a good day. I have a stupid cold so I thought I was going to be awful, but it actually went quite well. I sang Into the Night and Kiss Me Not Goodbye. Being plugged up makes singing almost easier in some weird way, but I'll take what I have to work with I guess! I sang Kiss Me Not Goodbye on recital today and it went alright. I surprised myself with the high notes so that was pretty cool. However I really need to work on getting a brighter sound on my chest voice notes. I think I'm making pretty good progress on all my rep. I think I'm getting pretty close to having everything memorized. That is going to feel super awesome once that's all done. What I need to do is start really working on Vanilla Ice Cream. I have to do that one on a recital  because it will be completely awesome, but that song super frustrates me especially in like the beginning because it is so in the middle of my range which makes it a tid tricky when deciding when I want chest voice and when I want head voice. Oh and I'm getting really excited for our studio recital!! I super love my Italian piece. When practicing I've been getting a touch frustrated with my tongue because I'm trying to do duckas and kitties and todays, but it just never seems to get any easier. I just keep doing them though hoping that one day it'll just be a piece of cake. So that's really all I've got today. Not much going on in the brain of Jackie today. ta ta for now!

Things are becoming more difficult.

Yesterday's lesson wasn't exactly what I'd call successful. My stupid voice is just so tired. I've been really careful and stuff, but it's just really difficult to stay away from all the sicknesses floating around and not overwork my  voice. Tour is tomorrow, work all weekend, choir dress rehearsal on Sunday, choir concert Monday, sing in recital Tuesday, tour on Wednesday. My poor freaking voice. I think I'm deciding that I will sing through the Cohen for the choir concert but none of the other songs because there's no way I will have a voice the next day after all this junk. I am just getting so fed up with everything around here. I'm not going to blog about everything that's pissing me off because that's probably just not a good idea. Also, it is that time of the month so I am just double irritated about everything. Anyways. We went through Chanson d'amour yesterday and it went pretty well. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp for the most part on most of my rep so now I can really start picking everything apart and working on all the little things. I'm pretty sure I've got the French down pretty well for that song. My trouble spots are just the half steps on that one spot where I want to take a whole step every time. Another thing that I'm having a tough time with is getting up to the f on like the o ma rebelle and ou mes baisers parts. It's not really singing the f that's hard, it;s just singing it cleanly. I think I need to approach it differently. I always get all nervous and think great the f is coming up and then I strain for it. I think I need to maybe cut of the note before it just a touch early so I can relax myself instead of just gushing a bunch of air up and hoping what comes out is right. If that makes any sense at all. We started on Nacht Und Traume but didn't get too far. We talked about the ich-lauts and auch-lauts which was pretty helpful because I was lost on how to do those. We did La conocchia last and that one went pretty well. Its starting to get easier switching from head to chest so that is always nice. And I don't think I have any more complaints today so I think this blog will stop here.

Alright, in my lesson Tuesday we started out with some buzzes and then we did duckas kittys and todays up and down five. I totally forgot about those when I've been practicing so they are making a huge come back because I super suck at those. We also did some i's while I was turning my head side to side. That was a really interesting exercise. It was hard but like easier at the same time if that makes any sense?! Yesterday when I was practicing I worked on Vanilla Ice Cream and La Conocchia and I used that method in both of them and it really helps keep  when I have too much tension and strain in check. We worked on Kiss Me Not Goodbye too. That song is a lot harder than I thought. There's a lot of switching from head to chest, but it's short so it's not too taxing at all. It went pretty well, but I just have to be suuuuuper aware of dipthongs. They were pretty much owning me. La Conocchia was next which may be making a run for one of my favorite songs. I'm working real hard on switching to from head to chest which I'm finding is a lot easier in some parts versus others. I also need to look at a few of the high spots and do a little bit of modifying. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Phil came to my lesson to help. He is awesome. We started on Vanilla Ice Cream but I couldn't get very far because I was getting pretty tired. Choir is calling for some pretty intense singing since we're getting down to the wire and all. BUT  I promise I am being very careful and am using a lot of caution!! There is no way I'm going to blow out my voice again. I feel like I'm finally at a point where my voice is almost 100 percent healthy since high school. I get really upset sometimes because I feel like I really did a lot of damage in the past that maybe limits me now, but I am finally feeling like I can do this instead of having to which brings me to the last thing that I've been putting a lot of focus on....confidence. I think a lot of my worrying and stressing is all in my head. Okay no, I KNOW that it's all in my head. Ever since I sang in studio a couple weeks ago and Katie Hansen made the comment that I need to get an ego that's really stuck with me. I know I've made bounds and leaps of improvement since I started, but you can never be too confident. So that's my game plan for life basically. It's weird because I'm a really confident person when it just comes to life, but when it comes to music I lose it all. However, it is a work in progress, and I promise and I know it's going to get better.

I have to make this quick. Glee is on in 15 minutes.

Okay so today in my lesson we sang through la conocchia, chanson d'amour, and nacht und traume. I still had a bit of missed pitches in la conocchia, but that part is easy to fix. The hard part is going to be switching form my head to chest voice so many times. I was trying to do it all in my head voice today and when I tried doing it alternating head to chest it just sounds weird because I can't make a smooth transition yet. Now that I finally found my head voice I just don't want to ever leave it! hahaha no, but seriously, it is really hard to switch from head to chest. That'll definetly be one of my main focuses in practicing this week. Chanson d'amour is still tripping me up a bit with the french in a few parts, but overall I think that one is actually going pretty well. I discovered today that I'm kind of losing my buzz. Ha that sounds funny...let me rephrase....I am losing the buzz when I'm singing. That's better. I need to remember spoon tongue and in the nose. I have been doing a little bit of close throat too. I just need to remind myself of these things! I know I know how to do it, it is just being consistent at it. Mr.Phil came to my lesson today which was awesome...shout out to Phil....the last song we went through was nacht und traume which I just freaking LOVE. Ugh it is so beautiful. Cannot get enough. But it's super hard. I think my german is a little bit sloppy so I need to do some hardcore listening on that, and there's some tricky rhythms which I hate to admit it, but aural skills is going to come into some serious handy with that. Now I just gotta get those memorized by spring break which I'm thinking should be pretty easy. So far I"m not freaking out so that is a step in the right direction! Well buenos noches beautiful people. I got a show to watch.